


The one where the tea was mislabeled

by Water_Nix



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Drug Use, F/M, Gen, Humor, M/M, Pack Cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2015-05-26
Packaged: 2018-04-01 06:56:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4010179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Water_Nix/pseuds/Water_Nix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Obligatory 'oops we accidentally got high' fic. With bonus cuddles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The one where the tea was mislabeled

"I sound like I'm underwater. No, _you_ sound like you're underwater. Wait, no. Did that make any sense? These are the weirdest fucking drugs I've ever taken."

"Tea," Blue corrects him.

"Witchcraft," Ronan says. He stares at his hands.

"I think you meant, everything sounds like you're hearing it from under water," Blue says. She looks at Ronan from under a pile of Gansey's multicoloured polo shirts. "I'm making a rainbow," she explains. "A Gansey-bow." She arranges them from pinkest to not pink. "These shirts probably cost more than my house."

"Overstatement," Ronan says. He seems to have forgotten how to form sentences within the last two minutes.

"There are a hundred shades of blue ones. One hundred."

"Gansey matches them to the colour of his balls."

Blue tries to look disgusted, but her face muscles don't seem to be working. She lifts one of the blue shirts up to her eyes. "This one is pretty."

"Gansey's balls, last Wednesday."

"Last Wednesday?"

"I remember because I did the laundry."

" _You_ did the laundry?"

"Course. Who d'you think does it? Gansey?"

Blue's laughter is high-pitched. "Everything would be balls then. Everything. Balls. _Blue_. Red. Some colour it's not supposed to be."

"You're fucking high as shit," Ronan tells her.

She makes a sound like a wounded cat and collapses on the bed.

Adam is standing over them suddenly. "Did you just appear here?" Ronan asks.

"Magic. _Poof_ ," Blue says. She rolls over until her head is smooshed into the side of Ronan's leg. "I want to bite you," she tells him. "Why do I want to bite you?"

"'Cause I'm fucking delicious."

Her laughter is high-pitched again.

"Holy shit. Did you get Blue drunk?" Adam asks.

Blue makes snapping motions at Ronan with her teeth. "I'm not drunk," she says.

"High as a fucking kite," Ronan says. "So high. Seriously fucked up witches' brew."

"Why are my clothes all over the— What is this now?" Gansey is next to Adam.

"Blue was making a something but she gave up because of your blue balls," Ronan says.

"Balls, what? _Shirts_. So many shirts." Blue rolls over onto her back and blinks up at Gansey. "It was an accident," she tells him.

"Are you drunk in my bed?"

Ronan's laughter is a deep rumble. "No, that was your dream last night."

Blue sticks her tongue out and tugs on it, crossing her eyes to try to see it. "The tea was mislabeled," she says. "We drank the mystic visions tea. It said raspberry. Now we—"

"Are fucking high," Ronan finishes. "Have a cup. It's messed up."

"Calla says it should wear off in a few hours." Blue rolls from side to side. "I don't think I can legs."

"Do we need to take you to the emergency room?" Gansey asks.

Blue rolls her head to the side and makes eye contact with Ronan, and the two of them break at exactly the same moment, spit flying as laughter bursts from their mouths. They roll together into the middle of Gansey's bed, clutching their stomachs.

"What? I think that was a valid question. You just informed us that your legs no longer functioned."

"I believe what she actually said was, 'I don't think I can legs,'" Adam says. He has a funny smile like he's going to laugh.

"You should laugh," Ronan tells him.

Adam smiles at him. "Where's Noah?"

"He said my energy is weird," Blue says. "Tell him to stop hiding."

"He's playing with Chainsaw." Ronan waves a hand in the vague vicinity of his bedroom and Noah comes down the short hallway.

"They're freaking me out," he says. "They feel so... _powerful_."

"I want strawberries," Blue says. "Big, fat, juicy ones."

"You got it," Ronan says, and closes his eyes.

Blue reaches out and takes Ronan's hand. "Right. I'll help."

"Don't let him go to sleep, guys. Seriously. They're freaking me out." Noah perches on the bottom of the bed and wrings his hands.

Adam leans over Ronan and flicks his forehead until he opens his eyes. "It'll be okay, Noah. We won't let him sleep until he sobers up."

"Fuck that. I can make us everything right now. _Everything_."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Noah mumbles.

"Noah's afraid of me." Blue's mood turns swiftly. Her eyes are wet with unshed tears. "I'm _cursed_."

Ronan flops over half on top of her. "It's just the tea. We drank freaking witch tea. You're all right."

" _I'm_ a witch " she says. "Gwenllian said I'm a witch."

"That chick's a fucking A-1 crackpot. She doesn't know shit from Shinola."

Blue nods. She looks up at Gansey and Adam. "You need to get down here." She tugs on Gansey's arm. "You too, Noah. I'm not _that_ scary."

Noah whimpers a little and curls up on the bottom of the bed, grasping Blue's leg. "I'm good here."

She tugs more insistently on Gansey until he gives in and crawls into bed behind her.

"Adam," Blue says. She points at him.

He smiles, humouring her. "Where would you like me?"

"Wherever you want to be, darlin'."

He huffs a little laugh, shaking his head. "All right." He walks to Ronan's side of the bed and sinks down behind him. He hooks his chin over Ronan's shoulder. Ronan's eyes are wide, eyebrows high on his forehead.

"You look like you just won first prize at an Irish dance competition," Blue says.

Ronan's eyebrows scrunch up. "Who told you about that?"

Adam and Gansey burst out laughing. Noah lays his head against Blue's knee.

"Please tell me there is video evidence. I will kill a man for it," Blue says.

Ronan pokes her in the side with one finger. "Destroyed. Exploded. I blew all that shit up."

Blue sticks her lip out. "You're no fun."

"That's a fucking lie."

"True." She shoots Ronan with a finger gun and he seems appeased.

"I saw the videos," Gansey says. "The world is a better place without them."

"Fucking Declan," Ronan mutters.

Blue bounces the mattress when she twists around to face Gansey. " _Gansey_ ," she sing-songs.

He makes a worried face. "Are you sure you're all right?"

She ignores his question. "Your nose is so straight you could probably cut things with it. Does that make it easier to hold it up in the air?"

"Do I? Hold my nose in the air?"

Blue giggles a little, running her finger down the slope of his nose. "Calla's right. Calla's right about you." She taps the end of his nose three times.

"What was it Calla said about me?"

She hums to herself, her finger trailing down his face and around his lips.

" _Jane_ —"

"That you're pretty," Blue finally answers. She pulls Gansey's face down toward her chest. "Come 'ere."

"Um," Gansey says.

"That's right." Blue pets his hair. "It's all right. They don't care. Nobody cares. Everybody cares. Too much. We call care _so much_."

"Wisdom of the intoxicated," Adam says.

"It was tea." Blue snuggles into the pillows, taking Gansey with her. "This bed is comfy. I'm going to just live here."

"We should all just live here," Gansey agrees. "That's what I keep saying."

Adam sighs loudly and Ronan reaches around to slap his arm.

"What will we eat though? Delivery pizza? I want pizza," Ronan says.

"Isn't that all you eat _now_?" Blue lifts her head a little. "I'm thirsty. Where's my tea?"

"I think you've had enough tea," Gansey tells her.

"Well I think you've had enough shirts, but you keep wearing them. _Buying_ them."

Ronan barks a laugh.

"But I like your shirt _today_ ," Blue says. "Such a pretty shade of blue."

She winks at Ronan, whose laughter shakes all five of them.

"What's so funny about that?" Adam asks.

"Balls," Blue and Ronan say in unison.

"Neither of you make sense," Adam declares. "I think I want some of this tea."

" _Yes_ ," Blue says.

Gansey groans.

Noah whimpers. "Not you, too."

Ronan sounds gleeful. " _Go, Parrish_."

There is a smacking sound when Adam stumbles out of the bed.

"Did you just slap his butt?" Blue asks.

"No, that was my dream last night," Ronan answers.

Blue chokes on her answering laugh.

"I heard that!" Adam yells from the bathroom/laundry/kitchen.

"Oh good," Gansey says, his words muffled against Blue's chest. "Now we're all uncomfortable."

"You should have tea. You'll never be uncomfortable again," Blue tells him.

Gansey says, "I think at least one of us should stay sober."

Ronan points to the foot of the bed. "Noah's sober."

Adam comes out of the bathroom sipping tea. He makes a face. "Revolting."

"Worth it," Ronan says.

"Yep," Blue agrees. "My bones aren't even bones anymore."

Ronan grins wolfishly. "I bet you wish you had that problem right about now, huh, Gansey?"

Gansey's murderous glare is utterly ignored. Blue pets the back of his head.

Adam tips his cup back and swallows down the tea. He shudders. "Revolting," he says again. He crawls back into bed behind Ronan and drapes an arm around his waist.

"Almost all my boys are in touching distance," Blue says.

"Pervy," Ronan says. Adam pinches Ronan's hip.

Noah sighs.

Blue pokes him with her foot. " _Noah_."

"Fine, I'm—" He walks up the bed on his knees and collapses on top of the pile.

"You're pretty heavy for a dead guy," Ronan says.

"Sssh." Blue pets everyone she can reach. "Go to sleep now, favourite boys."

A moment later, Adam gasps. "Guys, I think it just kicked in... Did somebody draw a glittery dick on the ceiling?"

Noah's laugh is a cackle.


End file.
